Living Love (life) in Reverse!…Looking Back

Racquel Outten

Racquel Outten

Looking Back

Mama said “don’t chew your cabbage twice “! That’s right she did, didn’t she?  How profound are the saying of the mature and wise! Hello ladies remember when… Mama or grandma said things that made you go unh? I’ve always had the utmost admiration for wisdom and the mature women of time; one of the reasons I’ve always embraced and kept their company. Their “Isms” may sound crazy but when you really embrace them they make a whole lot of sense.  We like to call that “Mothers wit”. To tell the truth I always feel like a little girl an empty cup if you will, that’s being poured into from the bosoms of mature wisdom and experience .The good book says wisdom is far more precious than rubies we should seek after it and  love her, she will guard and protect you (Proverbs 8:11, Proverbs 4:6)?  Furthermore it says God uses the foolish things to conform the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27).  Ahhh, liken unto Mother’s Wit. I’m about to set the stage so let’s dig further into this cabbage.

Let’s talk … There is a biblical story about Lot and his wife (Genesis 19:26).  When reading the story God gave me such insight and wisdom to the lesson of this story. Quite frankly it runs parallel to that of chewing your cabbage twice! Ok Girl what does that mean? Don’t worry at the end of this I will bring it all together. Lot, his wife and family were told by God to leave the city of “Sodom and Gomorra ” for many reasons this place when referred to still today represents all things that are against the character of God . This place and its people was morals and rebelled against God . So to make this part of the story Short (you may read it in entirety on your own). I will give a synopsis of it, follow me I’m going somewhere with this.

The premise of this story was God told them to leave and don’t look back! However when leaving Lots wife disobeyed God and looked back! “Oh boy! Disobeying God never turns out well! What happened? “Well, after looking back it says she turned into a pillar of salt, Consequently Lot and their other family members had to leave her behind. I pondered this for a moment and thought did she literally become salt? Then it hit me! I felt the spirit of God impart such insight about this that blew my mind. Salt has many uses but one of them is it preserves. As I pondered why was salt mentioned and God told them don’t look back it made me think , could this be about her state of mind and being!

Sometimes in life we must walk away and not revisit the places, people or things that can hinder our growth and ultimately destroy us. By looking back, Lots wife looked back at what was she couldn’t get pass the memories and seductions of Sodom and Gomorra, so she looked back and became stuck in her state of revision.  She didn’t obey or trust God had something better, therefore looking back kept her from Progression. The ways of that place it’s people and customs it’s memories became the salt of her life .Salt adds flavor also, so her  appetite for Sodom And Gomorra flavored her life and kept her from seeing and receiving what  God had In store for them . I’m sure it was painful for Lot to have to leave his wife but this is what happens when  both people are not traveling in the same direction. Touché! Obviously they weren’t.

Picture yourself driving in reverse for a long time period of time. Not only will you feel disoriented you would swerve in many directions could at some point crash. I know sometimes we have to put the car in reverse to move forward. Yet In correlation to life, it can be considered repositioning oneself for decision making time. However at times as we must look back in order to move forward we cannot remain in a reverse position; some things we should leave alone especially when or if God clearly gives instructions to leave it alone.  Let’s consider another analogy a pin ball game, in order to propel the farthest one must pull the prong all the way back, creating such force to catapult the ball the farthest. This may be true about some areas in our lives however we must consider how far is too far and how much time are we willing to make it to the comeback or is it worth it ? Sometimes something’s or persons we really don’t need to go back to because they will or can have the potential of preserving us to a certain state? Is it worth it? It may cause you pain, destroy the very essence of who you are and ultimately at times your ability to hear God. God forbid not that! Do you begin to see how these examples correlate in a relationship?

Now I ask the question….. Ever revisited something you wish you didn’t? Did you chew your cabbage twice? I think most of us have been there. Revisiting or looking back is not only physical; it’s mental and spiritual as well. Sometimes solicited or not. Imagine you are driving home playing the radio that song comes on that triggers a memory!!! Mmmmm there it goes you can chose at that moment to turn it off change the station ( moving forward) or listen as you dwell in memory lane . (Looking back). You maybe house cleaning and suddenly a photo drops out of one of the books as you dust the shelf, do you rip it up and trash it or place it back in the book and put it back on the shelf? However the image and memories start to wreak havoc on your heart, mind body and soul… Too much.  You can dismiss them or begin reminiscing! What about an old email or text messages that you keep in your phone only to have something to hold onto!! I’m sure you get my drift .But these are all things that can potentially keep you reliving something that maybe over.

We consider the fact that looking back sometimes is necessary but  if what you are going back to  has not changed for the better ,you would be going back! Not forward . You’re in reverse mode. What if it has changed for the better , then and only then can you move forward ! We now have progression and growth. Ding ding ding.  Ahhhh the light came on that time didn’t it?  We have all heard the phrase ” if you love something set it free and if it comes back it’s meant to be and if not it wasn’t yours to begin with “. Might I tell you that’s not biblical at all .The good book says we must try the spirit by the spirit .  (1 John 4:1)  If something is calling you back pump the brakes observe the caution light  test it out first before you dive all the way in. Bubble gum or  candy is only sweet until you chew all the sugar out then you are left with a hard jaw breaking, headache mounting, bad tastin mess. They say  second time around is better than the first time and maybe  third time around: yes it could but I think three strikes you’re out ! You know like in baseball. ” Heck you maybe going 10 rounds like in boxing but you may want to knock it out the first round!!! I’m just saying! Living love always in Reverse should be a clear indication that this situation may not change or you may have to step away to see if it’s worthy of your time, space and your entire life! Love you but love me more is the general rule to self worth , acceptance , and preservation.

If you have  to walk away from a relationship or the person ! Believe you can. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength (Philippians 4:13). In order to re-evaluate and decide if you should continue- you may  have to walk away from the person and not the commitment to relationship. You look back observe the caution light , reverse , pull forward or drive off and keep going. Let’s call it  shifting gears and making room for change in your reverse state .Maybe time to walk away from both!( person and commitment).When Making the choice to look back, also revisit what made you leave in the first place. Was this a seasonal relationship or the real deal.  A Seasonal person is not worth your forever ! We must recognize who and what they are.  If something is meant to be nothing can stop it , if not , then nothing can produce it. Most of all if you must look back , Prayer  I believe is the first and most important start !( Philippians 4:6)  Ask God if he is the one orchestrating  this revision. Allow him to reveal the validity of the relationship and if it resembles no change Pray again for  the strength and wisdom to walk away and not look back. Loving you must be first priority and not the last choice.

Please don’t allow squatters in your life. Ever heard the term squatters ? “Yeah girl it’s what we do when we don’t want to sit on a commode” Ok funny! But it’s a term used for persons who move into someone one’s  home uninvited with, no commitment to the home or its owners. Now think about your life would you allow someone to squat or take a seat? Anyone who squat is either waiting for the next person or passing time until they are ready to move on without you! When  one is committed in love with you they take a  seat!  They have  made a commitment and decision to be there. “Back, back  and forth and forth” should be a move on the dance floor not someone making dance moves in and out of your life! You must be priority and not an option. If they can’t commit then skip to my Lou don’t break up to make up that’s a game for fools !Play the song “I want you the right way but I want  you to want me to, want you to want me baby, just like I want you”(The Late Marvin Gaye) Girl you sure went old  school music on that note ! And said a mouth full.

Living your life in constant reverse will inhibit your growth .  The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, Albert Einstein. The good back says “as a dog returns to his vomit a fool returns to his own folly”! (Proverbs 26:11) Everybody plays the fool sometime but you can’t be a fool for the rest of your life! We ARE at times  fools to the unknown. Yet God in his infinite wisdom may have to allow us to revisit  to impart wisdom, fix things for  the better or deliver you from it. However my grandmother use to say an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure ” to obey is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22) and sometimes disobedience can take you down a path of self destruction! When God tells us don’t look back LETS PRAY WE DONT, and if we must always pray about everything.  Ask for wisdom, (James 1:5)  strength and guidance along with protection. Most of all guard your heart! Don’t be so quick to fall back into reverse, that’s  one  thing about the heart and love it can be blind. But God says to guard it BECAUSE out of it comes the issues of life ( Proverbs 4:23).  God knows our hearts and the purpose and season for all things under the sun. ( Ecclesiastes3:1) he knows who really desires to do his will ; through his Great love , mercy and protection may he be the one to preserve us and keep us on his path for our lives instead of persistence to destruction!!!

In closing no one knows your situation and your heart like God so while you seek advice from loved ones keep in mind that this is about you .Pray about all things even who you should confide in.  At times well meaning loved ones can shed light but also judgment so you must be careful to seek GOD and his direction in your situation and  decision making. Only you ( with God) can decide at the end of the day what’s best for you. We all tolerate different things differently in life . People will always be quick to give advice and say what they wouldn’t do or tolerate . Yet unless you have walked in ones shoes one cannot judge . Love is a beautiful existence and should not be taken lightly or for granted. It must first begin in you and then shared. God’s love differs from human love . His love is described in 1 Corinthians 13:8. There will be no perfect relationship only perfect love. I mentioned in one of my previous articles that love is a two way lane and not a one way highway. It takes two people equally yoked , both in unison to make a relationship . Otherwise you are in a fantasy all by yourself .  Choose the one God sees fit for you.  Then and only then can true love exist. If you find that you are living love in constant reverse you may need to stop reevaluate , and make a wiser choice for you. Mama said “don’t chew your Cabbage twice”!  What’s preserving you? Are you still chewing your cabbage…Get ready for part II.

You can’t start the next Chapter of your life if you keep Re-reading the last one…Author-Unknown

Sometimes your best teacher is your last mistake… Author-Unknown

Life lived in constant reverse aborts your destination. Move forward what’s for you will catch up to you…Racquel

Until next time Grace, Mercy, Peace and Love be yours…Raquel

Copy write…By Racquel Outten, 4/09/15

2 responses to “Living Love (life) in Reverse!…Looking Back

  1. Shar Marshall

    Wow, thss was so needed 20 years ago, hell, 30 years ago in my life. I lived in reverse so long I thought that was the way it supposed to go. Unfortunately I didn’t have that wisdom from the women in our family, because like me, they played games in reverse and here it is they are either in their graves or very old and lonely playing reverse games still. Thank God for his getting me out of that vicious cycle of going no where with love. The one thing learned from love is that it can’t and won’t love you back unless you treat it the way it was intended to be treated. I can’t be responsible for another person’s behaviour, only mine and I demand to be treated right. No longer are the days when intruders of bitterness and hatred and silly games are allowed to step into my door or any open crevice in my life. I control who I love because God controls my life and he gives me that kind of power. I am amazing and there is no room for handouts. To love me is a gift because God himself created Me to love. Great awesome article beautiful Racquel, but I would expect nothing less than the best from you.

  2. Hello my friend thank you so much for your support , have no regrets because used all things for the good of his children even when the enemy of our very being might be ourselves ! What the ultimate enemy ( satan) of our souls mean for our destruction God makes it all good!!! There are no triumphs in life absent of pain!
    Thanks again part two and three will be even more insightful ! Continue reading !! Much success on your up coming venture.
    Much love Rocky

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