The Ghost of Pain…

Racquel Outten

Racquel Outten

Being behind the chair in my career I’ve been blessed to have been entrusted with a plethora of stories. While I dare not divulge the personal stories of anyone, I must say as time goes on I hear the universal and collective similarity to the cause of the broken heart. I’m sure we have all experienced love and yet the pain that can come with bonding with another. Though some have been able to move on I realize that there are some that are still in pain from past hurts. 

This got me to thinking… Why is it that sometimes some hurts are harder than others to get over? Some pain is deeply rooted and what it takes to get pass what you may never get over. Hey I never thought of it that way!! Yes I do believe that there are some things in life you may get pass but never get over. I believe that we can underestimate the root or depth of one’s pain. Speaking from the culture of sister hood and our experiences in love I must throw it out there that I’ve become so weary of hearing that black women are so angry!! While I do believe the media adds no assistance to projecting positive perceptions of the black woman and yes there is some (clearing my throat) excuse me Ratchetness going on…!!!  Oooooooh did I say that? Can’t believe I tried that one hahaha….It’s my opinion that Black women aren’t angry, they’re HURT! They are in pain! From absentee fathers to dealing with our own Black King’s betrayal and abandonment, she is bruised!! While I do not negate the importance of all God’s creations in many races, cultures or creed and their experiences and pain. I can speak only from our existence and reality as a race. We may all wonder at times how someone can still carry baggage or memory of or from a broken place. I’ve come to realize pain is unique to the individual. Some have endured many unsolicited forms of hurt. As I thought about it all and the many stories, indifferent and similar, could it be that though the pain has been buried, could one be haunted by the ghost of the pain? Wow, I never considered that. 

I know we have all experienced lost of a loved one and I know we have all heard about ghost! So as the thoughts danced in my mind; I imagined could there be a ghost to the pain and how can it be dealt with?  You may have tried counseling, prayed, cried and still the ghost of that pain remains. It haunts you no matter how hard you try to move on. One thing I can say even though there are different levels of pain, pain is pain and no one is the expert of your pain but you. No matter the rhyme or reason for ones hurt, no one can seat themselves in judgment of what should and shouldn’t hurt. Every individual is unique in their own way and so are their life experiences. Though we may have walked in similar shoes the outcome and the experience is still unique to that individual. I’ve learned through the years that sometimes the one in pain simply needed someone to listen and not someone to solve their issues. Most times the best thing to do is pray and leave it to the Master who is the surgeon to handle all pain. This leaves one to wonder, why does it seem that no matter how much you try to pray some thing’s away, they remain. 

 I’m reminded of the story of Paul when he pleaded for God to take away the issue that haunted him…God didn’t,  but he offered comfort by saying my grace is sufficient! Why didn’t he remove it? Obviously whatever it was, it haunted and taunted him.  I’d like to think sometimes God may allow an issue to remain for his purpose even if we don’t  understand, we must trust that he will use it for good though it may not feel good!! It’s called trusting when we don’t understand! Then there was the woman with the issue of blood she prayed for healing. Touched the hem of Jesus’ garment and she was healed!!! They were both believers and yet God healed one and allowed the issue to remain with the other!!! Why? It’s one of those things we may never understand unh…For the record let’s be clear , even though I do understand pain is pain, by no means do I suggest nursing or pacifying a victim mentality. I do not celebrate that form of thinking at all! However I can say that there are some issues of life that can leave terrible scars?  What’s the solution?

Well I do believe that Nothing happens without his permission or knowledge, and he says to cast all our cares on him (1 Peter 5:7) and I’ve learned he is still God of our pain and scars he ask us to cast all our cares on him because he cares. God did not cause the pain but he allowed it. I know, I know it’s a HARD PILL to swallow who likes pain, but in the end if you turn things over to God he promises that he works all things for the good. (Romans 8:28).  They say time heals all wounds but I believe it’s all God that heals; and no matter what the reason for the pain God in time will make it all work out. He is God of the scars of pain and hurt, give it all to him. Trust that at the end of the storm or pain he won’t let it be for naught! 

Grace and Mercy be yours,



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