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Over the Rainbow

Brenda Wilson

Brenda Wilson

I was recently talking to a few girlfriends and the subject of interracial dating came up.  Although I couldn’t take part in that aspect of the conversation (I am married…LOL), I did have a few thoughts on the subject matter from a different perspective.  My point of view comes from the side of a mother and sister of black men who date and/or married outside of our race.

Interestingly, my views on interracial dating have changed over the years.  Let me explain.  Back in the early 80’s I dated a guy who was Puerto Rican.  Talk about one gorgeous man!  He was dark-skinned so I never gave it a thought about him being “non-black”.  It was not until my brother began dating and subsequently married a Caucasian woman who I came face to face with my prejudices.  I was totally against that relationship and didn’t have a problem questioning his blackness because he was “betraying” our race.  I even had conversations with my mother on the subject, but of course, she would never say anything against anyone.  She advised me to judge her not on the color of her skin but her character.  Huh? Novel idea!!!  Yet I still didn’t like it.

A few years later another brother began dating and subsequently also married a Caucasian women.  WOW!  Again, I came face–to-face with the notion that yet another family member was “betraying” our black heritage.  It was not until my son came home with his soon to be Vietnamese fiancée (didn’t work out though) that I had to take a hard look at myself and come to grips with my feelings on interracial dating.  You know it is hard sometimes to change long-standing ideals, especially when you are so very proud of who and what you are.  As it turns out, being proud of whom and what I am isn’t based on the color of my skin either.

What then you ask is it based on?  It’s based on my willingness to, 1) not be judgmental and 2) treat everyone as a child of our Creator.  Bam!!! As a spiritual being, I’ve learned to appreciate all forms of people who are part of the magnificent RAINBOW of Colors all created by the same God.  So if I am living my truth, then I can no longer be victim to old prejudices and racism, whether they are about race, religion, or sexual preference.  Whew…..

Hard pill to swallow in some cases, but the change has opened up an amazing kaleidoscope of people in my life.  I have dear loved friends who encompass all aspects of the RAINBOW of Colors and I am blessed to have them in my life.  In a nutshell, while I would still prefer that my black brothers and sisters remain true to our heritage, I now understand that we/they are not betraying our heritage by dating or marrying outside our race.  We are in fact being true to our heritage of freedom and equality because we all are created under one God and deserving of the respect of our individuality regardless of where we fall on the RAINBOW of Colors.

Imagine you may find your life partner on the other side of the RAINBOW…A Pot of Gold Awaits You!!!

Smooches, Brenda

3 responses to “Over the Rainbow

  1. marcia fullwood

    And let us not forget, Brenda, that although some of us have the same skin color, we couldn’t be more different. As a Jamaican having married an African American, I have to say the differences could just as easily have been skin color. Good and timely article.

  2. Thanks Marcia. So true!!!!!!

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