Casting the First Stone…

Racquel Outten

Racquel Outten

Hello Ladies and Gents we meet again,

The relationship with a writer and pen can be a little frustrating at times, masking its self as what’s called writers block. Writing for me is getting my mind together and being passionate about what I’m writing about. We all have a story, and yet every story isn’t for everyone. Effective stories I feel, are best written from real experiences!!! I was going to write the sequel to my last article Naked but I felt compelled to write about something else…I wrestled with many titles …”Who Died and Made you Boss”, My Shoes not Yours, Judge Me Not,  Master of my Life,  but the topic “Casting The First Stone” resonated with me!!! Like baking a cake writing is best when all the ingredients are mixed together to form a story. Being a free spirit, when I’m inspired by something it ignites the spark of an article then it becomes a flame in my being, then fire on paper!! Dramatic uh!!! I love to set the stage then …..bam!! I was out for my morning run listening to my workout music the last words to one of the songs were “what will people say?” Shortly after I watched a talk show about a man his struggles and his testimony. I felt inspired by these two events so…Let’s  talk

My Shoes, Not Yours… One of the things I have come to find fascinating in life is how people always seem to have an answer for your life or circumstances! One question familiar to us all is the infamous “what would you do if…? ” Of course we have all heard the infamous ” if that was me…”. Who knows how a shoe feels or fits better than the one wearing it?  Ever been in so much agony of your soul and you tried to find solace in a friend or family member only to feel worst after speaking with them. Sometimes the pain could be self-inflicted or just life happening to you! The lesson I learned about life is that it will serve you some unavoidable cups to drink from! Sometimes what you resist… persist! Yes I know life is about choices but I do believe that nothing happens by chance, the good book says our lives have been predestined already. So I ask what if the choices we make have already been written and the results inevitably written as well. I believe the individual choices we make have already been written in our individual books we are just living them out! Our life is an already composed script, now we simply just act it out. Do you really believe that God is caught by surprise by anything that we do?  A being who is not confined by time past , present or future? It’s my belief that in life there are things we don’t control . The world says we control our own destinies but The good book says a man plans his way but God has final say! Good and bad issues of life God uses all things for our good! It’s truly a mystery what a great wonder he is . He uses all the ingredients of our  lives to transform us. But it amazes  how judgmental even well-meaning loved ones can be or how quick they can have answers to your life. No one knows the unique threads (good and bad choices) that God uses to knit the fabric of who we are and where we tread in this life. (his ways are not ours-Isaiah 55: ) We don’t know how and what he does we need to take our mouths off of people’s lives even when intentions are good.

Experience, the Best Teacher…You are never too old to learn and through the mouths of babes God establishes wisdom. My baby girl is grown , not much of a baby anymore,  said something very profound to me but I never grasped it until I experienced it in a situation. She said “mom when someone is hurting stating the obvious never helps!!!” Yikes…Sometimes a person just wants you to listen!!!! I read something the other day that said “we don’t listen to understand we listen to respond! Such a profound statement. This made me reflect on some prime examples in the good book like Job a good man when he lost everything just out of the blue tragedy hit his life and his friends gathered around him with questions and solutions that never solved his issues and made him feel worse! Even his wife told him to curse God and die.  Then I think about David who had a man killed so that he could be with his wife !!!! Oooooo was that  in the bible ? Yep sure was!!!! Yet David loved The Lord, in fact  God called him a man after his own Heart! When David messed up he truly turned to God through the Psalms. Oh and how can I forget about the infamous woman caught in adultery and yet many were around ready to judge her, but when Jesus saw her ,he comforted her. He rebuked those who picked up the stones to punish her, then he bent down and scribbled in the sand. I’d like to believe he wrote their wrongs and made them look at themselves. No one had a stone to hurl ! The lives of these and many others lead me to ask the question…If perfect holy God grants grace and mercy to us all, who are we not to extend the same? How dare we be so judgmental. What is it God knows about you? Girl you tried that!!! I believe I did!

The circumstances, of these people’s  lives were no secret to God. He knew their hearts intimately and he knew their mishaps and pain.  God judges the motive and the action. He sees what man cannot see. People are so quick to judge your life and circumstances, but thank God he is our only judge. Thank God he is the author of our lives from beginning to end and our destiny is in his hands . As I grow I’m really not surprised at folks!!!  Some people like to act as if they are so perfect with no flaws or struggles. They seem to suffer from an acute idont-itiss!!!! Yeah, yeah I know that’s not a word but you get my point!!!! We have all heard “I don’t drink, I don’t cuss, I  don’t smoke, I don’t dance… I don’t I don’t I don’t!!! We all fall short so may I  interject “we all still do something”. Yet some things in one’s life weren’t   bargained for they just were assigned to them, God still uses it all to work on our behalf. We must learn to take our mouths off of people lives. Especially when you don’t know the whys, whats and hows like God does. Only grace and mercy keeps all of us.

I reflect on those painful, agony of the soul moments, not wanting to talk to anyone. Mostly because I wanted to talk to the all-knowing all understanding all forgiving, forever loving , never condemning Father. He knew why and what the purpose for my pain was.  I needed to process things for myself absent of anyone trying to give me advice or fix it . I cried out to the one who is always there and never gets tiered of my struggles! The one who knows the deepest secrets of my soul and I never have to worry about judgment or condemnation not because I’m perfect but because I’m forgiven!!! Through accepting his son as my savior, I became so emotional when I realized that not even my closets and dearest friends and loved ones  could help me when I’m deeply hurting, though they would love to. Sometimes even they can say things that you just don’t need at that moment, all with good intentions.  Sometimes people don’t allow you to process your pain, they say things like you need to get over it and move on or child if that was me… Yeah Sista I can say we’ve been there! Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t reach out to them but there are times when all you can do is reach out to God, though at times he seems far away yet I am learning he is always there’s and is never weary of me(us) . He is the author and finisher of our lives.

The Lesson…Deep felt pain is like a wound and death to your core. Then there is a process to healing. First the pain comes, then the shock of it, then denial because you don’t  want to feel the pain then acceptance and then healing but most people don’t allow you the process. It’s been said that time heals all wounds but I believe time just goes by sometimes making the pain worst. It’s God  that heals all wounds in time. Some can be instant and some take a while depending on the depth of it. Through this experience I’m humbled that from now  God has taught me that when someone is hurting or struggling with something before I open my mouth if they have come to me and have found me trust worthy to share their pain or problem to pray first and ask how would he like me to respond. Sometimes a  response isn’t solicited sometimes a person just wants you to listen and not offer any immediate fixes or answers. Sometimes it’s just best to let them cry on your shoulder and tell them “ I’m here for you”. Would you like me to pray! You will be amazed at how something so simple as that can make a difference. We are not God in people’s lives and no one will stand before God guiltless so before you cast a stone close your mouth and pray! You never know what this life will serve you to eat! Nor will you ever know what you would do in a situation, until it’s presented. If you’ve never walked in someone’s shoes you cannot tell one how they feel . You may try them on but how you walk in them  is still going to be different, even if they are the same shoes!!! We may wear the same size and like the same style shoes but your feet are still unique – we will never walk the same . I thank God for his unwavering, forgiving love. I thank him for well-meaning friends and family.  Cherish the ones that support you even when you aren’t at your best but they  believe in you and God’s purpose for your life ? But when your pain is beyond comprehension know you have someone that’s always there ready and able to meet you at the point of your need. Our lives are uniquely designed by the master he knows us from beginning to end he never condemns but is always listening with so much love and compassion no matter what we struggle with. So the next time someone is entrusted to you to share something, humble yourself before casting the first stone! Just listen!!  Be slow to speak, quick to listen…(James 1:19) I read a post that went like this “I once cared about people’s opinions until I tried to pay my bills with them!”. Woe, love it!!! The next time one may be tempted to think about what will people say, I say “it doesn’t matter”. What matters is what your creator has to say. The world will be a better place when we accept each other in love in spite of the way our personal stories have been predestined . This is a reflection of a free spirit and the relationship between her experiences paper and  pen!!!!!
Stay tuned for the continuation to “Naked”

Grace and Mercy




2 responses to “Casting the First Stone…

  1. Great info you post here, i have shared this post on my twitter

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