Mary, Gary, quite contrary how does your characters grow? With good, bad or indifferent attributes yet love makes it all flow!!! What is it that annoys you about your other half? Are you willing to accept someone for who they are if some things about them never change! No one should attempt to play God and try to change any one. You can only work on changing yourself. They say love is blind, but I believe love sees through the eyes of love! Love sees the flaws but they matter not. Love holds records of no wrongs! (1 Corinthians 13:1-13).
In this crazy world we live in no one is exempt from flaws! We have good and bad things that knit the very fabric of who we are. No one is perfect, however at times we can be judgmental and unforgiving to the flaws in others, while neglecting to see the imperfections within ourselves. One’s imperfections should never be generalized as one’s total persona. If the good out ways the bad you have a great person but if the bad out ways the good…Problème Majeur!!!!! (That’s French for major problem!). I dare not suggest that we should not strive to work on self-improvement, but I dare to ask if some things, though annoying, if they never changed could we love in spite of? Please don’t misunderstand I’m not condoning harmful behaviors as acceptable flaws. One should never compromise oneself in a harmful relationship just to have someone in their life. So how do we love the unlikable?
It’s now that traditional day we celebrate Love! What does Love mean to you? Is it the fact that you receive the usual candy and flowers or any special gift to pacify the tradition? Or is it more important to know you have someone in your life that simply loves and accepts you for who you are? That ride or die person! The one you share your nakedness with literally and figuratively! The one who loves your sweet aroma and accepts your Stank!!!! I got gully with it ha-ha!!! I know you understand where I’m coming from. I think back on an old school song that went like this, “It’s so Good Lovin Somebody When Somebody Loves You Back”. Yes, the late T.P. I love my old school music!!! It truly is a blessing to be loved and be loved in return. Loving is a precious gift to give and receive unconditionally. Yet there are those who have never really loved and don’t know how to receive it. Sadly at times love can bring much pain, however I believe it is truly better to love, to be loved than to not love at all.
I once read a story about the things certain women complain about concerning their spouses, not to say that this was the blame finger but I use this as a reference. One lady described how she didn’t like that her husband would drop his socks in the middle of the floor when he came home; the other didn’t like seeing her husband slouching on the couch. However these women became widows! The very things that annoyed them about their spouses are the very things they missed when they were no longer around! One said “I should’ve been thankful that my husband actually had feet to put socks on”. She found herself throwing socks on the floor just to feel that he was still there. “Awwwh!” The other said “I should’ve been thankful that my husband was not hanging out in the streets but on the couch, and that he made it home safely”. Getting the point? “Yeah girl because at least they had husbands, some of us are still waiting!” We sometimes take our loved ones for granted and don’t appreciate them until they are gone.
In life even in its beds not filled with roses,” Ok I know you’ve heard that term before” (life isn’t a bed of roses) hello!!!!” Yet there is always something to be thankful for. I know in relationships it takes work and it takes two, but the challenge is to decide what things are worth fighting over and what things aren’t. It’s accepting the unlovable yet forgivable flaws. There are so many things that we make a big deal about when all we need to do is simply love! Everyone wants that special person that gets them, that person that they can totally be themselves without fear of persecution, judgment or rejection. The one that see’s you naked and loves even the imperfections. Most times you will hear one say “If that was me I wouldn’t put up with that“. I say “if you are in a committed Relationship you are tolerating something and so is your mate”. “Hey you aren’t perfect either!” Let’s be honest. God gives the grace to love even with the imperfections because that’s his love for us!
I once used this as an illustration. Ladies you know how we love our purses right!? They come in various shapes, colors, sizes, and designers. Inside our individual purses we have our own style wallets, lipsticks of many shades, eye shadow, bathroom, the kitchen sink, whatever! You may not approve of some of the contents of my purse or none at all. We have our own unique taste and styles. We may not wear the same shade or like the style of purse but guess what “it’s mine”. By the same token we must accept and respect each other’s individual’s choices in regard to relationships! Sistas you know how we can be at times!
God in his infinite wisdom and power created us all individually unique with his, unconditional and everlasting Love. He did not make a mistake in His creation. Lord someone said “speak for yourself I want to throw my mate back“. If that’s the case learn from that relationship and move on. Pray for the one that you are equally yoked with to arrive, so that the tune of your love doesn’t sound like a bad Tuba or that you end up singing that famous T.P song…Think I better let it go looks like another love TKO. “Mmmmm ain’t that the truth “.
In closing, it’s my opinion that we shouldn’t have to wait on this traditional day to celebrate or show love. I’m more of a spontaneous lady! I like to be wooed when least expected! Not too big on some traditions. However this is Valentines Weekend and I encourage you to truly celebrate what really matters. Appreciate the love you share with your mate. Bring the romance back not just on ‘V’ day but throughout the year. Embrace Love even in family and friends. When you look at the things that may put a knot in your brow, just consider that if that person were not around you may end up missing the very thing that annoyed you about them; just to have them around once more!!! Life is too short and when you have found the one that you aren’t trying to just learn to live with or tolerate but the one you can’t live without… That just maybe The One!!! That’s LOVE…
Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is hope, and Patience with God is faith. ..Adel Bestavors
If you would be loved, love and be lovable…Benjamin Franklin
Perfections and imperfections are the beauty of love itself … it’s simply loving in spite of!…Racquel Outten